A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche.
My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game . He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind. Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and general ly embarrassing. I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... and NEVER asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures. His name?....We just call him, "TV."
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From our friend Todd...
When I was younger, I was introduced to a stranger. This stranger was a wonderful companion and soon became one of my best friends. I would gaze in amazement at what I would see through his eyes. I've been to the antarctic, the north pole, the nile, the amazon, mount Everest, mount St. Helens and many other places through the stories the stranger told. I have grown very fond of the stranger but who wouldn't. He makes me happy when I'm sad. He makes good times better. I laugh and cry at the things he tells me. He helps me fall asleep at night. He tells me if it will rain or snow. He tells me of good places to go eat, vacation, fish, hike and more. He tells me what areas to stay away from, protecting me. He has worship services everyday. He has music, games and things for sale. He gives me more information that my brain can store. He is ALWAYS there for me. I must admit that at times he may dissappoint me but he NEVER lets me down. He is there for me 24/7. How many of you have someone that dependable? I refer to him as the great educator but most know him as tv.
I hope you will accept this in the spirit of healthy debate, but I vehemently disagree.
I realize that the intent of this story and its metaphor are jammed with good intentions, but I'm afraid its basic 'lesson' it teaches does far more harm than good by diverting the sole responsibility for child-rearing away from the parents (which is where all responsibility should truly rest) and onto a household appliance.
It's like blaming refrigerators for obesity.
If you give a child unsupervised use of a blender, they will undoubtedly make nothing but milkshakes or have any manner of harmful accidents with its spinning blades or electrical cord. Does that mean blenders are evil? No... it means that blenders, refrigerators, blow-dryers, toasters and - yes - televisions can all be used for good purposes when used with wisdom and supervision... but, like anything else, they are harmful when used without the teachings or supervision of parents.
I'm the first to admit that there's a lot of crap on television... but then, there's a lot of crap in the world at large. I think children are better served when they are taught by their parents to recognize crap and deal with it appropriately (i.e. not being influenced by crap) so that they are mentally strong enough to face up to it when they reach adulthood.
Demonizing television just gives it power that it shouldn't have... television isn't possesed by some scary evil spirit... it's just a thing. Television only has as much power as we give it. Obviously, if you don't monitor what your children watch or how they watch it, they are going to be negatively influenced... relying on television as a teacher or babysitter or moral guide is wrought with foolishness.
Libraries are full of books that are inappropriate for children... should we, then, discourage them from reading? Or using a computer?
Television shows are no different from any other form of media... some of it is good, some of it is bad... some of it is neither... the idea is to learn how to tell the difference - not to live in a plastic bubble.
Yes, there's lots of crap on TV... but make no mistake - as someone who works in television and lives in Hollywood, there is no 'evil agenda' in terms of morality... the agenda of Hollywood is entirely capitalistic... everything that comes out of the entertainment industry is the result of supply and demand. If the majority of Americans demand crap, then by golly that's what Hollywood makes.
Consequently, once again, the responsibility for the sorry state of media and entertainment rests solely on our own shoulders. If more Americans insisted on better programming and committed their dollars towards it, Hollywood would step in line without hesitation.
The mindset of shifting responsibility away from one's self is precisely what has caused the moral decay in the first place which is why I find myself so opposed to little stories like this one.
The blame in the story should fall entirely on the neglectful parents... they could have monitored their kids' viewing habits more closely or gotten rid of the TV altogether... turning the television itself into some sort of evil boogeyman just promotes the notion that parents are powerless victims when, in fact, they are in full control. Accepting that responsibility is wrought with difficulty, but then no one ever said parenting is easy.
Naturally, it's easier to just blame TV.
I leave it up to you whether or not you wish to forward my thoughts to anyone else.
With love,
John
John--I agree with you 100% about childrearing being the job of the parents, not the TV, computer, daycare center, or nanny (okay, I added those last few). It's why I'm a stay at home mom and poor Steve slaves away as the only one who puts food on our table. And, of course, the TV is just a thing.
But I don't think that was what the story was about. I think the moral was to teach us that we have control over the off button. if there is something innappropriate or vile, we can actually take action and turn the thing off. We don't have to allow Hollywood to dictate the atmosphere in our home.
Trust me, this is hard. I'm saying this as a person whose favorite shows include Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. This is shameful trash that no one should watch. Thus, I've stopped watching. I've found the off button.
Todd--Yes, it is an educator. I like the cooking shows and travel documentaries. Steve and the kids love PBS (there's something about war stories and Teletubbies). But, again, there is a time too turn the inanimate object off.
And maybe we should get it out of our living areas and put it in an unnoticible corner somewhere.
First of all, you two guys seem to have missed the point of the story. The point wasn't that there wasn't ANYTHING good on TV. After all, the second paragraph was full of such "good things". The point was that, in the example "family", the TV was left on without discretion. The point is that there is much bad (bad morals, bad instruction, even bad acting) on TV and we must learn to evict the stranger. What does that mean? Well, in the metaphor being used, the most likely meaning would be turning the damned thing off and not letting it babble at you constantly. I suppose it COULD mean throwing the TV out of the house, but this is not demanded.
I suppose the other point illustrated in the story (and not lost on me either!) is that the parents didn't seem to be in agreement with what was being presented on the TV. This is a real problem in many households (we struggle with it too). Many times one parent will think a particular program is inappropriate while another thinks it is okay. Who wins? Again, in the illustration before us, it was the lenient parent who won.
In our household, we have reached a compromise. We have a TV, but we don't have cable. We barely get a couple of local channels which we watch if there is something "important" on. Otherwise, we stick to movies that can be prescreened, fast forwarded, or watched when the children aren't present. The TV isn't a part of our lives in general - though movies are. There are plenty of educational programs that can be obtained elsewhere, so we don't feel the lack of the TV.
Why Hollywood produces what it produces is really irrelevant to the discussion. I think, John, you are reading much more criticism into the story than was actually intended.
Moreover, "Hollywood" isn't a single entity. And by golly there are LOTS of people in Hollywood that DO have an agenda. Dare you deny Tom Cruise's?
Todd, how about picking up a good book? Frankly, you'll get a much better education from reading one hour a day than from watching TV 24 hours.
To sum up, this story isn't a wholesale condemnation of TV, but a call to wake up and realize what is on that TV and what IT is teaching the family.
Enjoying the discussion,
Angela
Tom Cruise is a perfect example of what I'm talking about...
Did you know his studio - Paramount - dropped him? They had a long-term deal with Cruise that they have optioned out of because they feel that his nonstop scientology-preaching and overall lunacy has alienated people - it's costing them money, so they're dropping him.
And, no, I don't think I missed the point at all. I affirmed that the story's intentions were good, but the majority of the 'blame' seems focused on the television itself and not the people who control the remote.
Any time the line of responsibility is blurred even a little, I think it does more damage than a thousand seasons of 'Desperate Housewives'.
More than anything else, I believe that the main cause of much of the evil in the world is the growing tendency for people to blame someone/something else for all their problems and, unfortunately, I think its worse in the U.S. than anywhere else.
It effects how people live, interact, work, vote and even worship. I'm honestly not trying to be melodramatic, but if any one factor has the potential to bring an end to our once great nation, it's that.
John
I agree with Angela and Jenna - we need to wake up and live more consciously. Having children only makes me want to live this more and show them how many wonderful things are out there to experiance.
Growing up my Mom kept our TV in the closet (we didn't have cable) and pulled it out on weekends to watch a few movies. Without the option it freed us up to read a lot, play outside, use our imaginations etc. People would actually call my Mom when we were young and ask if my sister Amy and I could come over and play with their kids - to teach them how to use their imagination. We never knew this until my Mom told us as adults and she never taught us that TV was evil so we weren't judgemental when we went to other people's houses who had it. We were not sheltered kids but I remember even as a teenager going over to friends houses and being puzzled at their contentment to sit in front of the TV all day. I thought it was boring.
Then I got a taste for TV during my off time as a live-in nanny in my 20's. They had hundreds of channels and I got addicted to numerous shows I would watch in my free time. I watched more when I was down and it was the easy way to escape. When I got married I went back to no TV and didn't miss it. My husband and I would listen to the radio for news, sit with coffee and read together for hours and watch a few movies on the weekend.
I find that for myself television is a sneaky thing. I have good intentions - like I'll just watch an educational show now and then. Next thing you know I'm hooked on Lost but that's alright cause it's just once a week. Months later I'll be surprised to find out that I'm hooked on three weekly shows I can't miss, up with the news every morning, catching Oprah in the afternoon and mesmerized by the cooking shows for hours but my husband will come home and there is nothing cooked for dinner.
I get numbed out and don't realize how far I've gone until I'm hooked. Like chocolate if it's in the house I'm going to be dappling in it, especially when I'm depressed. It's not like I don't have other lazy, unedifying choices to make when I'm down but that is just one more temptation I don't need. I want my children to grow up like I did - looking forward to building forts in the backyard after school, curled up with hot chocolate and a book I can't stop reading and enjoying an occasional movie that's wholesome.
I know plenty of people who are able to have television and control it. I'm just not one of those people. There are a lot of shows I like on television but I don't feel like I'm missing anything. I would rather read about history than watch it, go out and enjoy the winter air and look for the last leaves of the season with my kids than watch someone enjoying winter in some far off country on TV and I would rather have my house full of warmth and the smell of cooking that sitting and watching other people cook. The constant buzz of the television is addictive and I'm drawn to it. This evening I'm tired after watching kids all day and I'd love to sit and watch TV right and just veg. We don't have any stations though, and it's expensive to get English speaking channels. But tonight I have a new stack of books waiting and some Oregon chai to settle in with. For me, it doesn't get much better. I'm content.
This is a great discussion. Hopefully people can learn to extend this mode of interaction to other stupidly hypersenstive arenas.
Well, I enjoy television. Unlike most of you I have no children. My closest friends are married with children so we don't hang out too much. All of my relatives live in New England. The dating scene is less than......responsive...shall we say. I do read but I've always been a very slow reader and I have trouble remembering much of what I read (which comes from excessive drug use in my youth) and reading makes me sleepy. I am currently reading the brothers karamasov but I can't tell you too much about it. So television is a medium that suits me. I've hiked 10 fourteeners here in Colorado so I do get out. I like to meet people and play poker in the amateur poker league. I have my church family that I see. I also record probably 15 hours of television each week (and watch much more, especially during football season). I also got to the movies an average of once a week. I will not let anyone make me feel guilty about watching TV/movies. Maybe I do watch too much and maybe someday I will watch less or even not at all. But it is not for any of you to rule my life. The Lord will convict me when it is time. He has with everything else. So a big raspberry to all of you. I have to go now CSI is about to start.
That is why I like you, Todd. You're not going to let overly judgemental and highly opinionated people like us ruin your fun. And at least you admit your drug days...I like to hide from mine! :)
And I love CSI, too, but being the wussy that I am, it gives me nightmares and, when I awaken from those, paranoia.
Are you coming over Saturday night for Catan?
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