The Benefits of Driving Drunk

Okay, I was going to spare you all this tragic tale only because it's a bit tedious and, well, boring. But, today, the story turned a corner that made it absolutely hilarious and horrific at the same time.

After the sad car accident the responding officer told me that my driver's licence has been suspended for the last year--since March 2007. Apparently, I forgot to pay a $50 fine to the Colorado Department of Revenue from a speeding ticket. Okay, so my driving record is a bit sketchy. My mother cries everytime she thinks about me driving with her grandchildren in the car.

I called the Department of Revenue today to find out how long it will take to get my licence back and she told me 3 weeks. THREE WEEKS!!! Yikes! I'm stuck at home for 3 weeks with 4 children under the age of 6. This was not good news. But here comes the interesting part. Had I had a DUI I could've gotten a probationary driver's licence but because I had just a summons then I am stuck without hope for 3 weeks. Had I been drunk at the scene then I would be happily back on the road right now.

I guess now we know what's wrong with Colorado drivers.

Mommy, did you mean to ruin the car?

God gave me children to keep me humble. I've learned that I do not know how to parent (I ask for wisdom daily). It will be by God's grace alone if they all grow into godly, productive and happy citizens. But they also remind me constantly of all the stupid things I do. The latter is the most frustrating thing about parenting.

Yesterday, I wrecked the car. If you all could have seen the accident you would have thought I was a drunk driver. Honestly, it was that stupid. Okay, so here is sleep deprived me driving a 1-ton vehicle. As I was driving I looked into someone's backyard (they had a pergola on their deck) and I was trying to figure out how their family could get onto their back deck. Yes, I was actually using my limited brain power to find a sliding glass door on some stranger's back porch while driving.

While deep in this facinating meditation, I drove the car over a curb and sheared off a fire hydrant. Yes, the hydrant actually flew off the water pipe, and no, water did not shoot straight up into the air. I wish it had. I also wish I could say that babies were screaming and children were fighting in the back seat. Any legitimate distraction would do for my stupidity. But, instead, I only have myself to blame.

My precious 5-year-old Bug had all kinds of questions/statements for me yesterday after we all calmed down from the accident:

• Why weren't you paying attention to the road, Mama?
• How are we going to get groceries?
• Why did you have to talk to the police?
• Why did he make you sit in the back of the police car?
• You really should have paid attention, Mama.
• What does "consequences" mean?
• Wow, Mom, did you see the car? It's totally wrecked up.

It's a good thing he's around to rub my nose in all of my mistakes and stupidity. The only good news I have is that all of my precious cargo are safe and sound. No one was hurt and for that I am truly thankful!

"New" Bathroom

I painted and my father-in-law cut and nailed up the moulding. I love it!!! Because it's the kid's bathroom I had some fun with frogs and ducks. And if I get tired of it then I can "grow it up" by tossing the kid accessories and put in classier things. For now, however, it's fun to have a kid bathroom!